You are about to read an article on a squirrel. The reason you’re about to read this article is really beyond me. Why on earth would you ever read an article with the first sentence this article had? Yet, here you are still reading. I’m writing an article on a squirrel because this was a really long and frustrating day, and this squirrel kept climbing up on the fence right outside my office window and staring at me. If nothing else comes out of this article, at least I now know when to use staring vs. starring. Seems like a no brainer now, but I’m man enough to admit that I googled it. Anyway, the squirrel and I spent enough time together today that I figured I’d write about him. Do you think the squirrel has a little squirrel notebook where he writes down his to-do list? Do you think Seamus sits in his little squirrel house at night wondering what it’s all about? Yes, Seamus is the squirrel, I named him, don’t judge. For as much time as we spent together today, this is the best picture I could muster of Seamus. Earlier, I saw him hauling what appeared to be a half sandwich up the tree in front, to what I can only assume is his penthouse apartment at the top of the tree in my front yard. Seamus seems happy. Today isn’t the first time we’ve hung out. He’s always around here attempting to get into the garbage, or stealing the tomatoes Laura attempted to plant in the pot on the deck. Seamus really likes tomatoes. Sometimes, on days like this, I’m jealous of Seamus. Seamus just gets to go about his life. Now granted I don’t know how profoundly squirrels think or what they ponder, but for the sake of this discussion let’s assume squirrel thoughts are pretty much confined to two main questions: Can I eat that? and Will that eat me? At this point, this conversation can go one of two ways. Direction one: Everything is pointless, the damn squirrel doesn’t have to worry about stuff, why the hell should I? Or the second, more sane direction: Sure the squirrel doesn’t have anything to worry about, but Seamus will also never appreciate how easy life is with opposable thumbs, the thrill of solving a really hard problem, the beauty of the sounds a band can produce, or any of the myriad other amazing achievements or wonders this earth has for us. While option one sure has it’s advantages when you are pissed off, there’s really no good end game there. You want to go off and live in the forest without the convenience of tools and really live like a squirrel? I give most of us a month at most with that. That may be generous given how the experts on Naked and Afraid tend to fare. Obviously choice two seems to be the healthier approach. Kinda like Spider Man, with great power comes great responsibility. Well along with ability for achievement and higher thought, comes concern and stress over achievement and higher thought.
I guess the point of all this, is that next time you’re having a frustrating day think of Seamus. Realize that you want to achieve something, and shitty days come along with achieving whatever your thing is. Two last thoughts, one comes from by buddy Andy, for all the squirrels we see, you’d expect to see more squirrel poop wouldn’t you? Second thought, How you feeling about wasting the last 3 minutes on a squirrel story?